anna. 3rd august. mbs dms mjc nyp. leo.

Credits @Guaranteeheartz!
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well. sorta overslept today and was late by a bit larh. haha. den im like so suay can. reached pasir ris mrt station and walking out to the bus stop tt time rite. it started to rain larh. and im standing at the traffic lights dere desparately waiting for the green man to flash. waited for damn long still haven flash yet so i took a chance and ran across the road when there is no cars. den like an idiot standing in between two stretch of roads cos there is still cars on the other direction. like duh. okay but at least better cos got the mrt thing as shelter though also not very helpful =.=

finally green man and i ran like some stupid crazy girl who just escaped from institute of mental hospital and finding a place to hide before someone catches mi back. so i reached the bus stop and was drenched larh basically. =.= den i saw one mj girl oso running u noe. hahahhaa. but i think i look worst than her larh cos i late den nv tie hair like ghost u know!

so after the bio thingy. everyone went home. actually i wanted to study but felt sleepy so went home sleep first. haha. and i did a good deed again today! XDXD im so so so proud of myself can~

it goes like this. i got down from eunos mrt and bought bubble tea from sweet talk and den headed home. den i walk until this traffic light rite. suddenly got this girl called out to mi and asked mi where is the mrt. i told her the direction but its a bit complicated so i offered to bring her dere instead. den on the way dere, i felt a bit awkward somehow cos we never tok and its too quiet anyway. so i make out a conversation wif her larh. haha. so she is 18 and came here to do some erm. social watever watever. haha. din really catch that cos her accent a bit too strong so i jus went : oh i see i see. XD but she looks younger than wat her age show. cos she is a bit short and basically small size girl but she turns out to be older than mi by one year. =.=

after we reached the mrt den byebye to her. and conclusion : i feel good! tadatadatadata~

probably the last entry before my promos. gotta study now. =D

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today has been a really bad day. in fact these few days were disastrous. kinda lost my motivation to study. and promos is like 11 more days and im right here slacking like nobody's business. i dunno why but my clique seems restless nowadays. or perhaps its mi only larh. haha. and ive started to sort of isolate myself from e rest and i dunno why. jus dun feel like toking and wanting to be alone in some stupid quiet place which ive been trying to search for but to no avail.

talked about issues today in class with dennis and pierre. and i think ive got influenced by dennis somehow. haha. i feel so lethargic now. shouldnt i be mugging now instead of thinking about the alternatives routes to take after my promos? if im in other jcs i guess i wun be worrying so much about my promos. conclusion: mj sucks.

stress. stress. and more stress. today had this stress management talk. like hello. wats e point of organising this stupid talk when it doesnt help at all. and do u think tt coping stress is tt easy? u gave us so much stress and now u wan us to manage our stress. like we got time lidat larh! if studying is for our own good, isnt it suppose to be allowing us to study in a way which makes us feel tt education is fun instead of pressurising us to score well for exam and get ur degree if not we will end up not getting a decent job in the near future? i seriously think tt singapore should change the education system if not the suicidal rate for students will increase over the years. or maybe not suicide but the numbers going to IMH will surely rise.

okay i think ive been crapping some nonsensical stuffs today. emo emo emo. someday somehow i really wish to vanish into e thin air. =x

tag replies:
jia - haha. ya recovering already. u oso jiayou for promos ah! (:

syahida - haha. will take care de. mi blur? o.O haha. okay a bit only larh. lol (:

kor - eh bio got a lot of things need to memorise ma. haha. er confirm e time and place tmr bah.

zhiyi - haha. thanks ar. sort of recover le but now a bit dun feel like studying. lol. okay anyway jia you for promos!

yi hao - haha ya feeling better now. and no i dun miss u. (:

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officailly declared sick! (:

i guess im having too many late nights these two weeks due to studying for promos and tests. now im like a zombie walking around the school. haha. actually wanted to sleep when i reach home today but i realised ive got no place to sleep larhh. cos my brother is in my room and i feel weird to sleep dere wif him around. haha. so ended up i din sleep at all =.=

today is so screwed. got stomachache early in the morning. and zhiyi wasnt feeling well too. so we ended up going to the toilet instead of math lecture. and mr neo got so pissed cos my clique never attend the lecture. well wat to do. u expect mi to shit in the lecture theatre and zhiyi to vomit onto someone's head izzit. but he's pissed cos we never inform him bout us not attending the lecture. anyway we really never thought of informing him though. cos it wasnt really consider as a natural reaction to inform teacher. at least for us. for others i dunno. was quite a bad day today. throat pain and kept coughing. got a bit of flu also. tmr still got math consultation! gotta stay up and prepare questions. oh my. why our consultation slots always book at the most wrong timing. =.=

bio test is screwed too. cant concentrate well too. cos felt nauseous throughout the whole paper. and i didnt even finish it up. oh man. im so gonna fail another test again cos thursday that econs test im bound to fail too. ive seriously never fail so many tests in my entire life larh!

and why the weather chose to change at this point of time? cos im feeling cold all over now. and it doesnt help at all when u are sick. oh man. tmr i will be in deep shit when i wake up. dread waking up when im sick cos tt is the most terrible feeling ive ever encounter. ):

anyway. I STILL WAN TO PASS PROMOS LARH. and i hope that my clique and 06S308 to promote together! XDXD plus all my other frens in mj larh. haha. u noe who u are larh hor. lol. (:

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i think im so disappointed wif my sis. i dunno why larh but she seems to be indulged in his and her own world. like WTH larh. got boyfriend can action isit. wah im so pissed can. though zhiyi say im jealous cos he sort of 'snatch' my sis away from mi. but i think maybe right from e start is true larh. but slowly i realised its not because im jealous but its really irritating to be treated by her lidat!

isit true tt ppl tend to treat their stead much more better then their frens of family? is like i lived wif her for 17 years. and she wun even let mi noe bout some things of hers larh. but he jus got to noe her for a few months only. not even one year okie. and he gets to noe e deepest secret of hers. and how can she let mi noe by mentioning e issue right in front of mi?! i dun mind if i din get to noe bout this. but she shouldnt make it so damn obvious larh. and she is damn freaking bias. how i wish tt guy disappear soon. okie im bad i noe i noe! but dere is hell loads of things happened and i cant stand it anymore larh!

and ive been losing my sleep all this while because of him too. like HELLO. do u noe tt its quite weird to sleep down there wif a GUY whom u barely noe or tok to, went into UR ROOM and erm. chat or watever? to u all maybe its no big deal but when this situation really happens den u will noe how terrible i felt at tt point of time. and its not once only. its been like god-knows-how-many-times already. and because he ALWAYS come in when i sleep, i felt so uneasy wif a total stranger in my room. and thus, i din get to sleep much too.

and one more thing that make mi finally volcano explode is on sunday. and its like in e middle of e nite. she is toking to him. and wth i dunno why she go and listen to e stupid mr brown thing. and laugh damn loud as if she wans e whole world to noe tt she is listening to a not so funny thing but laugh till stomach pain kind. at tt point of time. i really wan to go to e kitchen to take a chopper and jus chop off her head. or better still. stuff her head inside e toilet bowl.

well so wat if she finished her exams already? dun she noe tt im mugging everyday outside and barely had enough sleep already? im like damn tired and for goodness sake i have sch e next day. and i wanted to get rid of my dark eye bags and eye circles but she dun allow mi to! jus because she is toking to e phone wif him den tt allows her to disregard bout how i feel isit? even way before they got together, she had been doin this to mi almost every nite if they happen to tok on e phone. tok so loudly like some stupid old auntie toking in e bus or train lidat.

i dun understand why she is so inconsiderate. and she is so selfish. as in. she dun allow mi to make a single bit of noise when she is sleeping. and im not allowed to tok on e phone in e room so i always ended up toking in e living room. but wat bout her? why she can do things tt she dun allow mi to? jus because she is my elder sis tts why she can command mi and yet she can do e reverse thing? she is always lidat. since young, she have always been e one telling mi not to do this not to do tt. but i dun haf a choice. even if i told her not to do this and tt. she dun even care at all. she assume tt she can do watever she wan because younger sis is suppose to listen to e words of elder sis. i have had enough of all this nonsensical shit. i dun wan to start quarreling wif her over this stupid guy. anyway i dun think is tt guy's fault. in fact if my sis is mature enough to go thru all this shit in her head, perhaps none of this would have happened. i told my mum tt if next time i haf a boyfriend, i will surely do e same thing back to her. to let her noe how i feel exactly. but my mum told mi not to be so bad so i decided to be back as a kind soul ive always been. (: but if she still continue to be like this den im not sure wat i will do in e future. =x maybe not larh. say say only ma to make myself feel better =.=

im utterly disappointed in her. ive nv did all this to u. i respected u. but how do u treat mi back in? shit. shit. and more shit.

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=.= damn tired now. eyes closing le. haha. anyway been studying this whole september holiday. din really studied much i guess. though i did spend a lot of time in studying! oh my. i felt so unproductive when studying. haha. saw this in friendster:


The Bottom Line
There are some stressful things that you are choosing to hold on to -- let go.

In Detail
There are some stressful areas of your life that you're choosing to hold onto -- why? Today, if you can let go of the past, you'll finally be able to move on. The thing that's holding you back could be an argument, a missed opportunity or just an unpleasant blind date. Whatever it's, it's not the end of you! And it certainly holds no great importance in the grand scheme of your life, so why are you letting it have control over you? Kiss it good-bye!

ehh. think its quite true huh. ya i shld let go of it soon. i will try my best (:

went studying wif yihao this morning. okie im late so sorry. hahaha. er den went off to meet juli to study. well we did something stupid again. hahaha. at sunplaza park. see u this noob yan ling. if u came den none of this will happen. sigh. hahaha. nv place mi and juli alone together. =.=

we actually changed lyrics of jay's song into our own version. haha. and i got e urge to blog it down now. hahaha. so here it goes!

一盏白白旧旧的灯
在我旁边静静闪着
看我读书多么心疼
我的眼睛快关了

可是 promos 快要来了
时间已经来不及了
剩的时间 已经不够来 pia 功课

黑暗已在空中盘旋
该往哪我看不见
一天一天慢慢地瘦去
我想我不用再去减肥中心

想看我星星
却看到很多树顶
为什么树要 block 我的星星
我只想看看星星
却被很多蚊子叮
旁边的人都以为我发神经

我也不想的
我快要喘不过气
可是 promos 不可以拿 mc
如果 promos 拿 mc
考卷上就看到零
这样的分数我也看不下去
只想看我星星

okie. haha. original song is 回到过去 by jay. hahaha. well i jus realised we missed out one whole chunk of e song. but nvm. next time continue den. hahaha.

proudly brought to u by juli and anna (:

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no motivation today. so mi and juli went to do something stupid and noob at pasir ris park. okie i think i dun haf e courage to say wat we really do jus now. haha. but i dunno why. after e whole thing and when i see it disappearing right in front of my eyes, i felt so refreshing. i felt as though ive already put down e past and moved on. i wonder if anyone will ever see tt thing and if it really do happen, i hope he will be tt someone. maybe im a little crazy for having tt thought because i guess no one will ever see tt again. and i think i should stop digressing it cos none of u will understand wat im toking bout except juli. haha.

been thinking a lot and i guess its best to stop it and concentrate on my studies. but its always easier said than done. ive been trying so hard but i swear that when e clock strikes midnight, i will do nth else except studying for promos. because promos is so important that i cant afford to fail it.

i can only say that ive given up (:

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i seem to have gotten the answer. i dunno whether i should assume it or wat. because jus at e most crucial point of time, i saw those. i read them. and i concluded. somehow, maybe im wrong. or im jus so blinded. but i jus couldnt help it. my mind will jus helplessly think tt way. i dunno wat the hell is going on and i freaking wan to noe wat is happening. i could haf jolly well trust u but im selfish. im ridiculously selfish. because i dun wan to be e only one getting hurt in e end all e time. ive enough of all e pain. im jus trying my best to protect myself.

i suddenly feel tt i dun noe who u are. im confused by ur words. i dunno which sentence u've said is true and which is false. i wanted so badly to be a pyschologist because i hope tt that will allow myself to noe whether one is speaking e truth or not. or am i too sensitive? maybe tt wasnt wat ive been thinking all these while. but everything seems to haf spoken for themselves. every single word. every single sentence make mi ponder jus who am i now. a fren? or am i only a subsitute?

i realised tt im jus some fool who have been deceived so many times and wun learn e mistake. why wun i jus look forward to e future and stop looking back? why would i still bother to make things difficult for myself? i have enough choices. in fact i have a lot. but why would i wan to stick to tt only decision? ive always tell people tt in life, we must learn how to give and take. i always tot ive did tt. but only to realise tt ive not. tts probably e answer to all my questions. maybe i shouldnt hold on to tt much hope because i might fall. so hard tt even time wun heal.

i think after this entry. i would probably not gif a damn to relationship. i dunno why but i will jus repeatedly go thru all e words again and again. i dun deny tt it doesnt affect mi. but everything tt u haf said. jus doesnt tally anymore. maybe to u it might seem normal. but to mi, it actually means a lot and seriously. im once again hurt.

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i did smth to my blog. =.= and i dunno how to make it back to normal. hahaha. =x

dun care bout tt. went to school today for chem tutorial but after tt stayed back in school to study. was so unproductive today. cos basically everyone is not in e right mood to do homework and stuffs. so we ended up chatting. felt rather restless today. and my eyes hurts!

anyway. they went off at 4 plus and left mi and juli. instead of doin homework, we chatted for two whole hours at e study bench. lol. we actually chatted for so long and we din realised tt. haha. but after chatting for so long, some of e contents really set mi thinking seriously about wat i really want.

i admit tt ive been leading a disastrous life all these while and i really do wanna improve it. who will wan to continue living in such a terrible life rite? and i shall settle everything once and for all after my promos. i shall get my answer after promos. (:

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HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY (:

爱的故事有很多
你一定听过她们说
最美的爱情像湖泊
美的忍不住停留
而任性的风 吹过了
却飘下一片片叶落

放~开手 往北方走 留下伤心的树独自忍受
你离开我连一句话都不说
只默默看着今晚天空星光闪烁

看今夜的流星 划过了天际 笑我的心
我无法再冷静 请你要倾听 你是我的唯一
我不愿去相信 我们之间 隔著海洋的距离
我的爱　已融化在空气

爱的故事有很多
你一定听过她们说
最美的爱情像湖泊
美的忍不住停留
而任性的风 吹过了
却飘下一片片叶落

放~开手 往北方走 留下伤心的树独自忍受
你离开我连一句话都不说
只默默看着今晚天空星光闪烁

看今夜的流星 划过了天际 笑我的心
我无法再冷静 请你要倾听 你是我的唯一
我不愿去相信 我们之间 隔著海洋的距离
我的爱　已融化在空气

看今夜的流星 划过了天际　笑我的心
我无法再冷静 请你要倾听 你是我的唯一
我不愿去相信 我们之间 隔著海洋的距离
我的爱　已融化在空气

i simply love this song (:



wif jannah e man tun tun. haha. and sheng hui



okie tts e five of us cos huimin nv come. haha.



wif pierre sheng hui and raymond



mr yeow! haha. we gave him e water bottle as teachers' day present! haha.



hahaha. mi wif jennifer.



when eating at cavana wif yan yan they all. noob yan ling help us take e pic. haha. (:



powerpuff girls? haha. no no. wif mojo jojo [juli] . xD

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