anna. 3rd august. mbs dms mjc nyp. leo.

Credits @Guaranteeheartz!
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after several observation and experiences.

ive finally come to a conclusion that.

i hate going out as a group with you.
cos it seems that it doesnt make a difference to you, with or without my existence.

is it a chore to pay attention to me when im talking to you?
or is it that other ppl are so much more interesting than i do, that you couldnt help yourself but to listen to them instead?

im not an attention seeker. i just hope for somebody to listen to me when im trying to talk. i dun hope for absolute 100% attention on me solely, but jus the basic form of respect and attention that is needed when im talking. is it that difficult to make that happen?

if you think that being out in a group can give u a reason for getting away from me, den i'll make sure i make myself scarce during outings, or keep a distance from you, lest i'll get hurt again from you unknowingly, or rather, knowingly but in your subconscious mind.

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dun you feel that uni orientation camps and stuff are like match-making sessions? they pair up a 'couple' and get them to do things that couple does. oh wells. somehow i feel glad that bf's out of the uni track hahahahha bleah!

but seriously speaking. the camps are fun in a way luh i must admit. but the idea of the couple thingy doesnt sound right to me. afterall, you go into uni for studying and not to find ur life long partner rite? so why indirectly match make ppl? hmm dun understand why. too little ppl getting married in singapore isit lol

ok im jus being anal luh. haha cos imagine you're attached and your the other half is going for this sort of camps, oh man. you sure you can tahan meh! haha anw i was jus stalking ppl on facebook and saw quite a number of photos which shows things lidat. makes me feel uneasy although it has got nth to do with me but still. it's jus weird lor! no meh! tsktsk

OK i shld stop my leh la lor meh alr. it's super singlish like mad. and. i need to shop. seriously.

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im sucha lazy person. lazy to make my blog look more attractive by uploading more photos hahaha. im so sorry. my blog is full of words since like months ago. heh

anw thanks everyone for celebrating my birthday!! really felt blessed and loved by every single one of you! although it's as simple as any other birthday, i appreciate the effort! =D happy 21st to myself! hahaha

clinicals are coming to an end soon. next week's gonna be our last week for clinical 3A. time flies eh. to think we were still grumbling and whining about the start of attachment. but good job everyone! we're surviving well! and really looking forward to next friday's class outing! it's like considered the first time that our class is having an outing ok! really do hope that majority will turn up. in fact, we've sent out the notice since last week so no reason to reject unless unforeseen circumstances (:

just some random thought process :

when a person is in coma/unresponsive to any form of stimulus, what exactly is that person doing/seeing? is she wandering ard in the dark, hoping to find a way out? or is she just like living in her own dream, thinking that she's in the acual world? or perhaps, she is consciously there, knowing that she's lying on the hospital bed, just that she cant open her eyes/utter some words? if it's the last possbility, isnt she suffering in actual fact? wanting to talk, wanting to see, wanting to move ard, but jus couldnt do it. it's the worse form of living isnt it?

anw, after being in icu placement, there's a lot of reflection done within myself. and perhaps im getting more interested in cp now. although i still think ms is my type of tea, but cp is not too bad afterall! able to see patients start walking ard in the ward, is smth that is to be happy about. able to see a patient cough out phlegm finally after 3 weeks of inability to cough, does really give you a great sense of satisfaction (:

think ive learnt a lot in this clinical journey.

alright shall stop here. once again, thanks everyone for everything!!

- boyfriend (:
- damai clique (:
- jc clique (:
- hubbers (:
- nyp peeps (:
- and of course other frens like yz, raven, syahida etc (:

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