anna. 3rd august. mbs dms mjc nyp. leo.

Credits @Guaranteeheartz!
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May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 April 2011 July 2011 August 2011 October 2011

sometimes i wonder just what is wrong with this bunch of people. and i thought to myself that probably, the foundations built arent strong enough, or maybe, they just. do. not. want. to. bother.

im so sick of it. i dun even know why im reacting in this way. maybe i care too much, care too much when the rest cant be bothered. that's why i feel so indignant? i feel so taken for granted? i feel so. sad for myself.

so what if this is the longest time we've known each other, so what if we tell each other that we'll always be by each other's side when things happen. so what if we always says sisters forever. so what if we always tell one another that anything just call me. we all know that all these are just superficial. cheap talks. say for the sake of saying. for the sake of making it sounds damn good? sounds like we're damn close like nobody's business. sounds like we're the best frens on earth. when in fact, all these are just fake nothings that we have to say to each other, no choice.

i feel that we are all trapped in the past, when we were still good. that now, watever that is being mentioned in birthday cards are all predictable things. i dun even know who are we now. like who exactly are we. what exactly is our relationship now. im jus to sick and tired of trying to pull everyone together. everytime when we meet up, i just feel scare. it's so absurd, that im scare of our outings when in a year, we only met up 5 times cos we only bother to meet up for birthday celebrations. and why i feel scare? because everyone is secretly fed up/unhappy with everyone. and i always feel that i have the responsibility to act as a clown so as to liven up the atmosphere, which everyone suan me as being crazy. i dun even have to do that in fact, but why am i doing all these? jus to make sure the celebration wun be silent and that the outing stays happy right from the start till the end. but why should i even make this effort when everyone just DO NOT make an effort to know each other even more, concern each other more, and perhaps, empathise with each other when smth happens?

whenever an sms is being received, it's not about asking you how's your day etc. it's always smth that gotta do with asking for help, or ranting to you about unhappy stuffs that happened in their life. and once everything is settled, ppl forget your existence. how would u feel? feel that you're being used? feel that you're just a sparetyre? feel that you have no value to them unless they have no one to turn to and den suddenly thought of you?

and everytime, i make an effort to initiate, all i get are flat rejections. you all only know how to reject. but expects me to think of alternatives for you when you are the troublesome ones. and when i thought of an alternative, all i get are rejections again. rejections with no suggestions. when asked to compromise, non are willing to. that i have to be the one compromising all the time, accommodating everyone all the time, giving in to everyone all the time. stop being such selfish bitches please. im damn sick and tired of it. and yes, be angry all you want, because these are really wat i feel right from the bottom of my heart. i dun want to try anymore. let's just get separated like you all wish to. i dun wan to always be the one feeling anxious over this stupid clique when nobody gives a damn.

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YAY! finally bought heels for myself!!

H-A-P-P-Y!!

thanks to boyfriend who keep assuring that my gigantic legs arent that ugly although i still secretly feels that my legs are the mirror image of elephant legs sigh. ANYWAY YAY HEELS!! somemore it's 3-inch high hahahahahahahaah

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decision making that makes you pangseh your friends is not good at all. especially when they are being pangseh-ed jus to help you out :(

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for a moment, my heart jus sank. oh wells.
now i even hope for singapore to be even smaller.

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i wished i have smaller feet so that i can wear all sorts of shoes, slippers, boots, heels and even try them off the shelves in shops. this is like one of the heels i saw when i went nex today, not the same but similar. and sadly, cant squeeze in :(




but, i really want to have nice looking heels!! lots and lots of them!! it's pretty irritating when you have a certain outfit but u dun have a decent looking footwear to go with it. not to say that all my current footwears are indecent looking, but at least smth that can go well and be compatible with my particular dress etc rite. sighh the agony of big foot ladies. bahh

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