♥ Date: Saturday, January 23, 2010 
i really hate it when im being forced to do things that i abhor. wat's wrong with ur hands and legs? are they so osteoporotic at the age of 24 that u cant bear to move an inch out of ur chair, for fear that the bones will start to get fractured on its own? or is it that you've gotten RDS that your skin is so hyper sensitive and that's why u didnt wan to move? i hate you ok. and im serious. ive never hated someone so badly before. i cant wait for your ord cos that's when u will move out and i wun be seeing ur damnit face for the rest of my life.
sometimes i wonder, wat if my parents decided to stop at one? will they be leading an even better life now, or will their life be worse? sometimes i wonder, if they didnt have my sis and i, will they be slogging their guts out for survival, will they be relying on each other to continue living, will they be so heartbroken that they see no glimspe of hope in life?
all sorts of possibilities, and im glad that at least they still have two daughters with them. i dun dare to say that we are the best daughters, but at least, i believe that we provided comfort to them. at least they know that when they get older, they can rely on us. i cant imagine their life without us, they dun even know they will be abandoned by their oh-so-filial-son. when they work so hard jus to provide the best for him, wat do they get in return? scoldings, unhappiness, troubles and more troubles. he dun even have a tinge of guilt, he dun even understand them at all. he took everything for granted. he thought that they owes him and even so, i guessed they have already repaid their debts. since birth till now, they have given him everything that a child would love to have, wat else do u want?
life is so unfair. i dun understand why. i jus want to scream. scream my lungs out. scream like nobody's business. but who knows, my parents might be the one who need this scream more than anyone else. and they have been bearing this so such a long time. nothing can describe how im feeling. how would u feel if u have a brother like this?
   
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